What can you expect when you’ve just became a dad? Keep on reading to find out!
Labour
Before we even begin about your new born kiddo, let’s start at the labour.
Being a man, you can’t do much to help your partner in crime. It is true that the dude gets all the fun and the wife has to do all the work during and after nine months.
However, when you’re standing there (with basically your hands in your pants) in the delivery room with your wife or partner, laying there and doing all the work, you will feel quite annoyed. Simply because you can’t do anything to help the person you love. The only thing you can do is hold their hand and tell them it will be ok.
So if you still need to go to the hospital with your partner, just be there and show all the support you can. That’s the only thing you can do. And it will be gravely appreciated.
The typical difficult days
When you’re becoming a parent, you might have heard of the typical difficult days. The one’s we’ve heard of are day three and day ten. Amongst other days of course.
When I first heard of the typical difficult days, I thought to myself “really? fixed days? Must be a load of manure.“
However, I am now ten days into parenting of a beautiful baby boy, and its true. For some reason I cannot explain, these days are applicable to many, if not all new-borns. They seem to reach a certain point in their development where they experience some kind of burden. They are more active and in need of more attention than other days.
Once these moments have passed thought, they return to their normal behaviour. If you or someone you know, knows the reason for this, please tell me. I would really like to know!
Tired
Yes, you will be tired. All of the time.
It’s not the care that gets you, it’s the amount of times you need to feed your new born. They need to receive 8 to 12 feedings a day. This means you need to wake them up and feed them every 2–3 hours. Nights included. At night we feed our bundle of joy every 3–4 hours. That way, we can get a bit of extra sleep. They will not lose any weight or growth this way.
The intensity of these feedings is another thing to keep in mind. Especially for your wife or partner if they decide to breastfeed. Usually this can take up to one full hour they need to be fed. If you decide to bottle feed however, you can prepare a formula, warm it up a little, feed your new born and be done with it.
Another advantage of bottle feeding your kiddo, is that you and your partner can exchange shifts during the day or night. That way, everyone can get some rest.
Free time
None. Perhaps five minutes between a feed and rock your kiddo to sleep. And those five minutes you will use for other chores that have accumulated around the house. There, point well made in two sentences :)
Pregnant during COVID
This depends on how you look at it. It can be a burden or it can be a huge relief.
For us, this was more of a relief. Where we live, you stay at the hospital for three days. If all is well, you can go home. It is a custom that family and friends stop by to take a look at the new born and check up on the parents.
However, during covid, we were told we could not receive anyone. This was quite the blessing for us. We were able to enjoy every minute with the three of us. In all peace and quiet.
We were able to ask the questions we had in all comfort without some hectic relative floating around us. We were able to enjoy a take-out meal and all the rest we could get.
Of course, I can imagine some people might want others to be around them. It really depends on your own situation and personality.
Stove on your chest
This is something that no one ever told me, but something that I learned quite quickly. When your new born falls asleep upon your chest, you will notice that they are quite warm after a while.
This may seem a silly thing to say, but it’s one of those things that will make you cosy when you’re at home watching a show or movie. Or it will even make you fall asleep!
Whatever you might feel like, it will be awesome. Because you have your own child in your arms.
Helplessness when they cry
You might have heard about this one already. Or felt it in the past when you’re around new-borns. When your child is not older then a few weeks, you’ll notice they can cry for no apparent reason. And this is where the helplessness kicks in.
When they are a bit older, they might point at their stomach or head. When they’re just born, they can’t point out to you the feeling they have. You can guess of course what might be wrong. But you’re never 100% sure what’s wrong with them.
Upside to this story is that you will get to know them. You’ll recognize the way they scream or cry. You’ll get to recognize the difference between “I’m hungry” and “my stomach hurts”. It does take some time though. Don’t think you’ll get to know your new born in two day’s time.
Their first laugh and look
When they are born, they can’t see much at all. They won’t be able to keep their eyes open for long. How would you be if you’ve been in a place with no light for nine months?
However, when a couple of days have passed, they’ll start to open their eyes. Do know they can see sharp up to 20 centimetres (about eight inches). So don’t expect they can see your face clearly when you’re across the room.
When they can see you however, you will get the most genuine and loving look/smile you can imagine. You WILL melt :)
Support partner
This is perhaps one of the most important things to do or to remind yourself of. You, as well as your partner need each other in these times. It can be cumbersome and even frustrating some times. As long as you got each other’s back, you’ll make it just fine!
